Savor It

Welcome Elias.

We welcomed Elias Henry to our little world on Sunday, February 28th at 7:38 pm.  He weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20.5 inches long. (He waited and ended up being 36 weeks 5 days, just 2 days shy of being considered "full term.") We are home now and very busy staring at tiny toes, munching on chunky cheeks and enjoying that delicious new baby smell. :) Oh, and one of us is learning how to be an incredible big brother.  Already protective, and already a bit frustrated that the baby is not able to get up and play.  All in due time, little man, all in due time. 

Bye Bye Bed Rest! (sort of)

 

The latest photos of me and Baby 2; someone who saw me recently said I look like a string bean that swallowed a basketball.  What do you think?

I can't believe it, but I have reached 36 weeks!  What an incredible relief.  I was planning on posting on Tuesday, when the milestone occurred, but as soon as I went off the medicine (Terbutaline) Tuesday night, I began having contractions that were pretty regular and have had them ever since.  Today (keeping my fingers crossed) I actually feel a bit better, but the last few days have been rough. 

I saw my midwife on Wednesday with contractions about 10 minutes apart, then 7 minutes or so, and she gave me the terrible news that I was still not really dilated or effaced any more than I had been before.  So I asked her with trepidation if I could continue to have contractions every 10 minutes for weeks...and then she dropped the bomb that YES, IN FACT I COULD.  Oh, good God, ARE YOU JOKING? Something she said offhandedly about my "irritable uterus" led me to the all-knowing universal information source: Google.  With nothing but time on my hands, I searched for "irritable uterus + pregnancy" and wouldn't you know it led me to www.irritable-uterus.com. Yes, ladies and gentleman, you really CAN find anything on the internet.  So based on what I've read, I have self-diagnosed my uterus to be irritable.  (Did I do something to piss it off?)

Here's the definition:

1. “an 'irritable uterus' means simply that your uterus contracts without causing any changes in your cervix, or labor.”  (Childbirth.org)



2. “’Uterine irritability’ is a term used to describe the phenomenon that prior to the onset of labor, the uterus can contract in a disorganized fashion (during pregnancy),” explains Dr. Laura Klein, an OB-GYN at the University of Colorado School of Medicine. “Rather than strong contractions that come and go every few minutes there can be kind of a constant low level twitching of the muscle.” Most of the time these contractions are simply a nuisance and don’t lead to labor. (Babyzone.com)

Let me say, I do not think these contractions are merely a nuisance.THEY SUCK.  Mine are not a low-level background noise, they are a painful tightening that make all positions uncomfortable.  I know how bad they get (having endured all-natural childbirth before) so I know in comparison, these are nothing, but having contractions non-stop is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.  And I won't go into detail here out of some modicum of modesty, but my digestive issues are either causing, or at least certainly compounding, the issue.  I'm hoping that by writing about it, they will disappear, or things will change, as it always seems to once I commit it to print.  

I was hoping to be more excited and positive about reaching this goal of 36 weeks, but I have to admit, I was kinda banking on having the baby by now.  I'm just a little antsy and impatient and want to hold a healthy, beautiful baby already.  So until then, I'm doing a combo of taking it easy (still in bed for a lot of the day) and adding some activity back into my life.  Unfortunately, due to contractions and pressure, walking up and down stairs and standing in general is not so comfortable at this point. 

So, for all of you out there who have been following along, let me say a BIG THANK YOU for sending positive energy, thoughts and prayers my way to keep this baby in.  I couldn't have done it without you.  But if it's not too much to ask, can you start directing your thoughts and intentions the opposite way now and pray for me to get this baby out?! I am eternally grateful!! 

35.

35 weeks today. Amen.

Photo Credit: Leo Reynolds

Bed Chronicles: Day 37

This is a photo of the bed we stayed in almost exactly 2 years ago, at the amazing B & B, L'Auberge Provencale.  This was our last trip as "just a couple", before Jonah was born.  This was where we ate amazing French food, lazed about, and decided on the name of our child.  It will always hold a special place in my heart. 

So yes, I'm still here.  Thank goodness.  And today I'm at 34 weeks.  Didn't really think I would make it, so I'm quite happy.  The next big goal is to just be here for 2 more weeks to get to 36 and then I can get off the meds!  Woo-hoo! I feel like I've made it this far so I really really want to get to the end now, in the hopes of having a labor without too much monitoring and without a visit to the NICU.

Here's some stuff that's been happening around here: 

:: We are snowed in.  On Friday we got oh, maybe 26 inches of snow approx. and today we are supposed to get anywhere from 6-20 inches. At first it was beautiful.  Now it's just getting kinda frustrating, as I heard a rumor that there might be yet ANOTHER storm on Sunday.  The MD/VA/DC area just can't handle this kind of thing, so all schools, the gov't, etc. are closed, grocery stores are running out of food and people are without power.  Sounds like a good time to almost have a baby, huh?

:: During the Super Bowl (of which I saw about 10 minutes) I had A LOT of contractions close together and have been having them on and off for the past couple of days/nights.Getting a bit nervous about my 2 week goal, not to mention the impending blizzard.  I may go down in the record books for being totally crazy, but I crafted a plan to get our best guy friend (we love you C!) to stay overnight tonight in the event that we need to rush to the hospital.  (He can stay and watch Jonah if necessary).  And as a last resort, he could always deliver the baby, as he was an EMT during college days.  But we are all really hoping it won't come to THAT!

:: Every day before naptime and before bedtime, I've been reading The Giving Tree and I Will Hold You Till You Sleep to Jonah.  He picked The Giving Tree himself off his bookshelf and adores this book (I'm pretty astounded that a 22 month old will sit still long enough for the whole thing.)  This little ritual of ours has helped keep things a bit more consistent around here (making naps and bedtime easier) and allows for some pretty fulfilling snuggling for mama.  My heart melts when we get to the part when the tree is sad and Jonah in his little voice says over and over again, "twee, sad, twee, sad." As if he gets it.  He is really starting to pick up on so many words and experiment more with speech--it's fascinating to observe his tremendous love of reading emerge.  I am consistently bombarded with requests to "weed, mama, weed." ;)

:: I have taken up embroidery. I finally discovered a soothing craft I can do that is not messy, is cheap, quick and easy and is a throwback to they days of our grandmas.  I ordered this kit (thank goodness for online shopping!) and have already finished one bib, with one more estimated to be finished today.  Next, on to the onesies.

:: I have read a total of 12 books.  My two latest were the first two installments of The Twilight Saga, which I never thought I'd read, but like the rest of the world, was totally hooked.  (Thanks, Katie!!) It was a nice change of pace from my parenting, pregnancy, yoga, non-fiction kick that I was on.  Thanks, Mom, for instilling my love of reading at a very early age.  Who knew it would be so incredibly life-saving 30 years later? If it weren't for a good read, I would most definitely be staring into space  mumbling incoherently to myself right about now. 

:: We had a bunch of awesome visitors last week, which kept us on our toes and entertained, and kept me quiet in this space.  Definitely have had to listen to my body and conserve energy when I can or else the contractions keep rearing their ugly head.  Looking forward to the time when I can finally give in to my body and let nature take it's course. 

The Bed Chronicles: Day 24

Photo Credit: Country Living

:: Wow, can you believe it? Already 24 days in!  Only 55 more to go if I go to the bitter, bitter end!  I can handle that right? Of course I can.  

:: Two Sundays ago (the 17th) I ended up back in the hospital with contractions 4 minutes apart.  And yes, this was the Sunday that Jared was in New York for a funeral.  Murphy sure is funny that way, huh?(Thank you Holly, my dearest, for being my hospital buddy, and my bestest friend, you rock!!) Anyway, they were able to stop contractions (again!) sent me home with some stronger meds and so far, all has been pretty quiet around here.  We like quiet. A LOT.

:: I had an ultrasound on Friday, the 22nd, and the tech estimated that the baby weighs 4 lbs. 3 oz.  To most of you out there you might think that is tiny (and well, it is...) BUT to my family, this sent ripples of excitement through all of us, because in just a few weeks, the baby will most likely be 5 lbs and that is a baby that can do just great.  So can a smaller baby, but it makes it harder.  (As a point of reference, Jonah was born 5 weeks early and weighed almost 6 lbs).  I may be small, but somehow I grow them big. :)

:: I have been staying busy reading this.  Watching this(woo-hoo!). And watching this. And having delightful visitors stop by. 

:: The baby has been incredibly busy turning me inside out with kicks, torpedo rolls, belly flops and full limb dragging from one side to the other.  If you were to stop by to visit, you would SEE IT.  It is crazy how much a little tiny elbow or knee can hurt.  But I love this baby anyway.

:: And after staring longingly at my crafting materials, while laying on my side, (I am set up in our guest room/craft room/soon-to-be baby nursery) I decided I could handle the torture no more.  So I sent Jared out to buy me a blank sketch book and I've started a visual journal.  I think it will end up being a fun place for me to play and experiment with different mediums (collage, paint, scrapbooking papers),  and morph ideas and to-dos, as well as project inspiration and bits of life ephemera.  I have a more formal plannerthat I love, but this visual journal makes me very excited because it can be messy and silly and it allows me to try to be at least a bit creative every day.  I'll share pics once I'm up and running again (and have access to my Mac), but as you know, that might be several weeks from now!  

The Bed Chronicles: Day 12

Photo Credit: A Lovely LIfe, from Flickr

:: Received my Project Lifealbum in the mail a few days ago to help me document the upcoming year.  So very excited about this scrapbooking kit that keeps it simple but looks beautiful! Definitely not committing myself to a photo-a-day for the full year, but rather a hybrid approach--some weekly layouts, some event layouts (the birth!!), some baby milestones layouts, some stories that need to be told.  Excited to get Jared involved as well. 

:: Had a bit of a scare on Wednesday night, with contractions coming 8 minutes apart for about 45 minutes.  Called the mid-wife, drank a quart of water, got in the bathtub and tried to relax.  Contractions continued but were spaced apart and then eventually subsided enough to sleep.  Feeling pretty down after that about how long I could keep this baby in.  But then felt buoyed the next morning after reading several message boards about women who kept contracting (while on the same medication) through their whole bed rest.  While everyone's experience is different, it was nice to read about the possibility of carrying to term. 

:: Spending much of my days surfing web, reading (currently Three Cups of Tea), napping, and having a few visitors. Really trying to keep it as predictable and calm around here as possible.

:: Despite trying to keep it as predictable and calm as possible, the unexpected keeps occurring.  Sadly, the mother of one of Jared's childhood friends passed away this week and he will be attending the funeral on Sunday.  Their family is in my thoughts and prayers, as I think and pray about not having a baby on Sunday while he's away. 

:: Along with everyone else in the blogosphere and most likely, the world, my heart aches for Haiti.  Have not watched much news coverage (no real access to t.v.) but following along on the internet.  I am a huge advocate of donating money (and you should!), but in times like these it never feels like enough when you want to do more.  How do you provide care and comfort from thousands of miles away? How do you make your compassion manifest and lift up fellow humans in need? All big questions that are not easily answered. I do know that if we all do a little, it does add up to a lot.  And I believe in the power of non-profits and the human spirit, and in God.  And for now, I guess that has to be enough.  A fellow blogger wrote, There but for the grace of God go I.  Indeed. 

Curious to hear comments about the ways you are reaching out or giving during this time of crisis. Wishing everyone a peaceful, gratitude-filled weekend!

The Bed Chronicles: Day 6

Um, I'd prefer my bedrest from here please...
Float outdoor bed by Design Mobel,designed by David Trubridge

 
So far, I've made it through 6 days of bedrest.  Here are some of my reflections and exciting (hehe..) happenings:

::Contractions have been intermittment, but my intuition is telling me I have more time. Clinging to a statistic I found on the internet that gives me at LEAST one more week, but praying for more.   

::Trying to stay fully present and only think about today.  If I think about what could happen or the next step (delivery + NICU) I get scared (mostly for the baby), so totally blocking out all of those thoughts.

::The medication I am on is both good and bad. Good because I think it lessens contractions, bad because it lowers my blood pressure and makes me weak and dizzy.  Walking up one flight of stairs even just once a day makes my heart race like I am 80 years old. 

::Started (!) discussing names with Jared.  Finding a few that we feel good about, but it seems much harder this time around for some reason!

::It has been very difficult not being able to take care of Jonah.  The awesome thing is that our emergency childcare has been seamless and completely un-stressful (how can that be?!), and truth be told I am a bit thankful for the break in day-to-day caregiving.  BUT, I'm pretty sure a small piece of my heart dies every time he comes over to me and looks at me longingly, saying "Mommy uppie, Mommy uppie", and physically trying to push/pull me out of bed.  The other day we had a hard transition when he awoke from a nap and he just really wanted me to hold him while standing, which was, of course, not an option.

::Along those same lines, it is interesting to be a passive observer in your own home.  I can hear Jonah with the babysitter, and Jonah with Daddy, trying new words, eating breakfast, playing with toys.  It has given me some space to see him in a whole new light and to really see how very fast he is growing and changing.  He is really getting to be much more of a boy than a baby.

::I got to take a shower today!  Yippee!!

::Making my way through This Emotional Life on PBS on the laptop, slowly but surely.  Totally fascinating.

::So thankful for the visitors, help and well wishes that we have gotten thus far.  I have such wonderful friends and feel totally blessed.  Nothing like an unexpected situation to remind you that the beauty of life is true connection and community. 

Bed Rest: Part Deux.

This mirrored four-poster bed was made based on a 1940s Serge Roche bed. Designed by Jonathan Berger and featured in House Beautiful, July 2009 issue. Found on Apartment Therapy (swoon!) My bed looks nothing like this, as it is currently unmade, covered in food crumbs, piled with books, laptop, snacks, toys and more pillows than seems humanly possible.

Ah, life. How I love you and your unexpected surprises.  The way you always keep us on our toes, and show us time and time again how little control we truly have.  Especially love your sense of humor and irony, when we TRY OUR BEST to be prepared and stick to the plan we have envisioned.  Well, life, I hear you.  Message received.

Here's the scoop:  On Sunday I began having contractions and went to the hospital for evaluation.  Yep, indeed contractions confirmed for sure.  Not really great news when you are only 29 weeks along.* I was given a host of meds, monitored for a bit (contractions did stop) and sent home to be on strict bedrest UNTIL.  I hope to be on bedrest for so long I get bored out of my mind, but history is telling me otherwise.**  Any thoughts, intentions and prayers you can float my way are much appreciated.  I am in good spirits, thinking positively and just trying to breathe freely.  I am so profoundly grateful for family and friends who have been kind enough to jump in and help out on a moment's notice. 

*Jonah was born at 35 weeks so this bedrest and premature labor thing is something we are familiar with.  I was hoping against hope it would not happen again (especially not THIS early) but see above how life has had other plans.  **I was on medication and bedrest for 2 weeks before he arrived, so I'm praying for AT LEAST that long this time around.  All I have to say is that I am so thankful for modern technology and science, the medical staff and nurses in NICUs everywhere, and my own personal faith and trust that all will be okay. 

On a positive note, I might have a bit more time for blogging.   Of course, I'm doing it lying on my side typing with one hand, so you have to forgive any typos! I say *might* have a bit more time, because even though we are getting childcare help, Jonah still wants to be with mama quite a bit.  So check back for updates, and I'll try to keep everyone in the loop!