Today is an exciting day. Both of my boys entered school for the first time, for a full day, from 8:40 am to 3:15 pm. This is a day I daydreamed about many times, during some of my hardest days, when I just wanted a break, when I wanted to get back to me, and get down to work.
And how does it feel? Like most things in motherhood, bittersweet. It feels really good to be here. To know that I've made it through the early parenting, the sleepless nights, the endless feedings and diaper changes. I have spent what seems like millions of hours with my kiddos and while I wouldn't have it any other way, I can say with certainty that it's the hardest job in the world. But then there's the reality that time moves swiftly, they grow before our eyes, especially during this "first day back" ritual.
But I'm excited to be here, now, exactly where we are. I feel present, more content and open to the changes that lie ahead as my mothering journey becomes perhaps less physically demanding and more emotionally demanding (for all of us!). I look forward to having my days have some silence, some passion + purpose of my own choosing, and then to dedicate myself to my boys during the afterschool hours into the evenings.
When I daydreamed of this day, I imagined a spa day, filled with a massage, some hair highlighting, perhaps a facial. Instead it was filled with a trip to the grocery store, a quiet lunch, some laundry and some reflection. The stuff of real life. But my real life is pretty great, and today I'm filled with nothing but gratitude for making here to this moment and having two awesome boys who were joyously exuberant about heading to school this morning. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pick them back up and give them some incredibly huge hugs.